Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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