Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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