We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
More tranny stories later!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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