Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
