You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
