I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
