ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
