He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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