There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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