Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
