VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
