he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
