my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
