i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
