i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
