i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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