I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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