Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
