And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
