do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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