I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
