someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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