pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
