Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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