No awkward lesbian experiences without me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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