Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
