k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
where am i from again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
