gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
smell my finger.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
