Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
