what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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