Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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