ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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