I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
