She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
