3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize