He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
