I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
