Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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