operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
