I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
