Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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