dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
