I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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