If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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