we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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