false alarm. still invincible.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
