That's intense
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
