weddingsv make me drug and hornr
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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