Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
