I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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