There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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