the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
