to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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