So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Operation Purity has been aborted
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
