If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
