I think I died a long time ago.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize