Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
