He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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