Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
