i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
