Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to have your abortion
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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