in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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