I'm drive I can fine osifer
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
