She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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